Are you normal?

Okay so for all those that have been reading about my adventures in Ukraine, thanks for your support and love.  I am very appreciative. This blog ended as soon as I got home, in fact it pretty much ended earlier because I didn't really feel like doing e-mail when it got close to the end.  I am sorry for my lack of dedication in my e-mails.  I was thinking about how it would be sad just to let this blog go to waste and I have had some thoughts and figured a blog is a great way to express myself.  I apologize now,  I am not a writer.  I am sure you all have already realized this from my e-mails.  I am not an English major and can't remember anything I learned in the past 10 years of English classes so if my bad grammar and spelling bothers you then, Well you don't have to read this :) 

Are you normal yet?

I have come across this question with almost every person I have come in contact with since being home.  Sometimes I don't even know who these people are.  They just here that I am a returned missionary and have to ask.  My question to them and to you as well is, what is normal anyways?  When I decided to ask one of those people that asked me if I was "normal," I turned the question back to him.  What does that even mean?  He then chose to go through a list with me:

• Have you been alone?
• Have you watched TV?
• Have you watched a movie that you hadn't seen before the mission?
• Have you been out on a date?
• Have you held hands with someone?

These were just a few that I could remember.  Is that what is normal?  Is it really normal to waste my time in font of the TV? Or watching movies all the time?  Is holding hands with someone right away something that makes a person normal?  Who decides what is normal?  Maybe we are all confused and being focused on the gospel really is normal.  Haven't we heard from leaders that we are not mortal beings having a spiritual experience but we are spiritual beings having a mortal experience.  I am not going to go all "preachy" and call everyone (including myself) to repentance.  It has just been on my mind every time I get asked if I am normal or if I am still "weird."  It is something I want to personally figure out what is "normal" for me personally.  I want to figure out who I am and what my standards are.  I fear that question might be the cause of so many RMs going off the "deep side" once they have come home.  they try to conform to society of what is "normal" and they loose everything they were and what they learned the past 18 months to 2 years.

The adjustment is hard. I feel like I have eyes watching me everywhere I go and judging me about how I am going to handle my first hug, my first date or first kiss from being home.  It makes me feel pressured. I have been home 4 weeks now and yes there are a lot of things I am still getting comfortable with.  There are things that I am okay with and can handle, but there are still things that make me uneasy.  I might even wish that I never completely conform to the norm of society.  I think I like being "weird."  It makes life fun and makes me laugh at myself.  Okay Okay I am done.  I will get off my soapbox. :D

And for all those curious cats out there.... yes, according to those questions given above, I am normal.  Even if this blog post isn't very normal.  If anyone has any ideas and want to attempt to answer me of "what is normal?"  Please feel free to let me know.  Thanks!
Z Lovem
Lauren

letter#70 November13

Another letter to the president.

I hope you have had a great week. We sure have. We were way excited for our investigator to get baptized. I felt like we really did our homework with this one. I try really hard always to have the transition from the missionaries to the ward a very smooth transition. This time was pretty good. She had all the ward missionaries on lessons with her, as well and the Relief society President. She was also able to meet the ward mission leader. We then had the ward pre-plan her visiting and home teachers. So we had one home teacher (Alexander Polyakov the recent convert) baptize her and the other teacher give her the gift of the Holy Ghost. Her one visiting teacher was at the baptism and the other one was sitting by her at sacrament meeting when she got the gift of the Holy Ghost. We put so much work into getting her into the ward yet we are still worried about her. She still is a little shaky on her testimony. She has so much desire to know everything which is incredible. I just hope she really works at strengthening her testimony.

President, I feel like in some areas of the work we are really succeeding and others we are SO far away from fulfilling our purpose. I want to go out of my mission sprinting and just really give it EVERYTHING that I have. Which is what I feel I am doing, but yet we are really struggling to find new investigators. We try to talk to a lot of people. Even everyone that crosses our path but maybe it's my lack of faith that is holding us back but I feel like I try. Also I confess I judge people and see if the ward would accept them. We don't want to bring someone with a load of problems that will weight the ward down but we also don't want to deny anyone salvation. We are not the judges. That was me just rambling on. Sorry. Well anyways, I think I need to restrengthen my faith. I know that there are people out there ready to accept our message I just need to do it with more love and faith. Thank you for always being a great example of those two attributes for me. I really do feel your love for us and for this work and it makes all the world of difference. Your faith is admirable. I really want to have as much faith as you have. Thanks so much for all that you do for us and for the mission. We are grateful for your sacrifice.

Letter #69 November 7th

Lauren's Letter from this week was mostly business, but I really liked her letter to the president. So here it is:

Dear President,

How are you doing?> I am doing so good. I am loving the pretty weather. It is beautiful and fresh outside. We have had a few days inside this week so I am especially grateful for the opportunity to be out and about. We will see how long we will be out. Sister stiles has been sick and the poor thing had the greatest drive to get out and work but she still isn't feeling great. We hope that we can figure things out so she can be out an about at 100 % again. She is a trooper.

Last night I found myself awake for an hour and 40 minutes or so. I was not wanting to be awake I just couldn't get the work out of my head. I was wide awake with thoughts of our investigators. I was racking my brain to see how we could get them baptized. I was even going through the lessons with them and what I would say in order to help them progress to a date. It was the weirdest thing. I didn't want to be doing that I wanted to be sleeping I just couldn't stop myself from analyzing every part of the work and all of our investigators and less actives we are working with. I then realized how much I really love this work. I love it so much. I really want to help these people because I love them for who they are, my brothers and sisters.

This week my best friends got married and I didn't know it until the day before when I got her announcement. I was pretty bummed. Not going to lie before that point I was pretty excited to go home. Not because I was sick of missionary work I was just feeling myself preparing for the change that is going to take place. I would say I was almost trunky that it would effect the work because I would have random thoughts of things I wanted to do when I was home. Well when I got my friends announcement. I started to think about what I was doing. I was wasting time that is a very limited time on thinking about going to a place that I will be for the rest of my life. I can think about home when I am there. Because I will be thinking of Ukraine when I am home in Utah. I know that my time is ticking down. And I know that I want to give it my everything before I get on that plain. I was fueled with the love of the work and I am really pumped to keep going. I am excited to live in the moment and really focus on these people here that I love so much. I want to help them as much as I can and truly give my all to this work. I am so grateful for your example to me. I learn from you all the time. I love this mission and all that is happening. I can't wait to hear about all that happens after I leave it will be incredible. Thanks again!

Sister Schmidt

Letter #68 October 31

Hi the coolest people in the world!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Well this week was great we worked SOOOOOOOOOOO hard for the party Saturday was the longest day of my life! So 9 AM we were at the church helping with this wheelchair event we gave agway 30 wheelchairs and we were there till 4 and it was way tiring we in the middle of that event had a baptism and the a wedding all going on in one little ward building. Then at 3 the YW showed up to help decorate and then the party started at 5 and went till 9. It was crazy. I was SO tired by the end. SOOOOOOOOo many people came and it was a blast! I can't wait to show you pictures when i get home and talk all about it. I am sorry. Well yeah I am sorry this is lame I am trying to figure more of my stuff for school. Um yeah sorry that I am distracted. I love you all so much!!!! Have a good week!

Well love you all.

Sister Schmidt

Letter #66 October 17

This week has been good one. We went to a church for P-day it was pretty crazy we saw all the mummified priests it was pretty creepy watching all the people kiss these glass boxes with the "saints" inside of them. My heart went out I just wanted to yell at them all they just seemed stuck in this trance and I wanted to shake them and be like this is wrong don't you know! There is more1 The true church is on the earth today and you can find more joy and happiness then you ever though possible! but of course that would have been completely inappropriate SO I refrained!

As for missionary work my heart really went out to Lena and Nina please pray for them. We went from these lessons back to back they are both less active sisters. Lena is the one we showed up to and let us in and always introduces us to members of her family. Well, her husband is agianst the church. She really wants to come back and she misses the feeling of church and the people but her husband won't let her come back. She doesn't have a super strong testimony because she only got baptized about 2-3 years ago and went inactive a least a 1 ago because thats when she got married. Well it was so sad so we meet with her to help her iwth english and that is the way the husband will allow us to come over and that way we can share a spritualy though with her. We then immediately went to Nina's this one really broke my heart. Her mom and two brothers are active but her bhusband always makes her stay home when they all go to church. well she crie and asked us to come more often because when we coe more often then her husband lets her go to church. So we are praying for her. Please pray for them both especially for Nina it's really hard for her. I just want to be able to help them! We are also working on finding a new investigator everyday on the street and we weren't able to do it last week. Please pray for us to get new investigators.

Tonight we are meeting with a way cute girl we have fhe with tons of members and her her name is oksana and she is 23 she loves the church she has already come to church 5 times! We want to committ

Letter #65 October 10th

Hello the most amazing family in the world!

How are all of you!? I am doing great! Nothing has changed still love missionary work still love Ukraine, still struggle with the language, still eating and attempting to get a good work out. YUP Still me Sister Schmidt. I would like to take this time to apologize for the previous e-mails. I am always so distracted when it comes to writing you all. I am really sorry. Ha I remember how it was when I first got on the mission. I would write you as fast as I could in order to give you the most information about my my companion and the work. It's crazy how a couple a month change things. I really do love you all and want to write you and tell you everything it just becomes difficult when my mind has so many things going on and as you all know STILL struggle with focusing ha ha.

So this week was great I was on exchanges for 3 days with a sister from Latvia It was great! Her name is Sister Pliha. She is 26 and is a recent convert. She is new to the mission and unfortunately doesn't ever hear from her family. It would be way cool if you want to send her a postcard from Utah and tell her you are grateful for her service. Or one from Virginia. Just a little something to support a missionary that has no support.

Well today and yesterday it rained all day. Yeah bad news oh we watched conference Saturday and Sunday. It was great. So we Saturday was great weather and we w2atched conference with the English international branch at 10 and 2 it was great with pizza in the middle then Sunday we had a took the sacrament at 10 and they started conference at 10 15 so we couldn't watch it because we were trying to have meetings in the Russian ward. So we had a full long sacrament meeting at 12 (missed all the first Sunday session of conference) and I couldn't focus at all during sacrament because I wanted to watch conference. So instead I wrote down all the foods I want mom to make when I get home. Yeah way to go me huh ha ha oops! But then We went and watched conference in English with the Americans and then we went as finished it in Russian. We were inside till 6 doing conference. Then we went out tracting to find a new investigator because president challenged ever companionship to get one that day. So we went tracting and met a woman who thinks she met me a year ago since then her son dies who was meeting with missionaries and wanted to get baptized. She never let him get baptized and now wonders what would have happened if she let him get baptized. We then went running in the rain for fun passing the building that we had our meeting in that we were already 45 minutes late 5 times while our “fun run” ha ha Yup we totally got SOAKED! It was hillarious she just saw us and snicked we were so wet we didn't have umbrellas and our coats dripped water all over her floor during our lesson. Ha ha funny right. Well then we ran home and found a new investigator on the way. Had a quick lesson in the rain prayed an plan to me this week.

Another way cool story. I called president to come on a lesson and help our investigator set a baptismal date. Well we talked for 10 minutes and he got me pumped to have more faitha nd to start praying with people on the street to help them feel the spirit and want to meet again. After getting me pumped he committed us to doing it that evening and calling him at night to tell him about it. Well I toook his promise to heart and prayed to heavenly Father tto help our companionship to really do it. Well we were almost home and it was late and dark and my faith was dwindling I want to give this family a proclmaion to the family but I didn't have any so I walked past and I heard the spirit call me a chicken So I had to go back. I just tried to start a convo with them It was great I was talking to them and they were way nice After 15 minutes I asked to pray so that I could ask them to bless there family. So He said yes and I prayer and HE ASKED ME to meet again! COOL HUH! So I think we are meeting with them tonight! I am excited! I really hope it goies well. I called president Extact and we talked for anther 15 minutes. I love President Klebingat so much! She is a man of God I really do love him so much! I am so gratefult o be able to work with him in this mission and to learna nd grow from his experience!

I love missionary work I love the gospel! I love you all so much! Keep the Faith!

Z Lovem

Sister

letter #64 October 3rd

ell Iwas so excited to watch some conference while i typed youbut unfortunately my head phones are being weird and not working. So unfortunately .oh just kidding the elders are aweosome and made it work for me!!!! Iam listening to Elder Hollard in Priesthood! Ican't wait to watch tomorrow! Oh hey I heard that the ensign for october is out about the book of mormon. could you sendin to me in a big envelope? If its comfortable. If not no big deal! I LOVE CONFERENCE!!!! I am so excited to watch it! okay so Jen asked for some details!

well I don't even know what to tell you!

I am working with sister stiles we have LOTS of fun and work hard, we don't eat very well though. we eat chicken nuggets and ramen its not that yummy but the other day all i ate was zuccini it was so yummy! we work outinthemorning shower and study and then eat and we then we are out on the street at 12 until 9 we try to have 3 lessons a day. e try to contact 100 people on the street and get 7 investigators a week we can't get 7 investigators yet. we only got 2 this week. So please pray for us to get new investigators.

Okay I am so distracted this is what dad is talking about in his e-mail :) ha ha

so quick though. Iam way sorry but i totally don't want to come home. e had the international branch come to our building and it was in english and i fely SO awkward it restated that i don't want to come home. I just want to see you all and have you come here and play for a week and then serve another year do you think that is allowed? ha ha well

SO DISTRACTED!!!!!\

MOM AND DAD are yougoing to serve a mission! plan it now!!!!

LOVE YOU!!!!

Sister schmidt