A Lack of Excitement

So I just spent the last half hour reading my sister's blogs and literally laughing out loud to myself as I am in the kitchen eating my veggie burger (No I am not vegetarian but my sister introduced me to some awesome veggie burgers and I can't get enough of them).  Meanwhile my roommate is in here room with her door open probably thinking, "Only three more days that I have to live with this crazy chick!" Ha She loves me :)

So I thought to myself, "Hey I haven't updated my blog in a while.  I should do that!" Oh wait, I am not pregnant nor do I have an adorable girl to take pictures and tell funny stories about.  Yeah thats right why would anyone want to read my blog?  Easy answer.... They don't! Well too bad I am writing anyways.

I love life!  I truly do! I might just be hopped up on happy pills that come in the form of sunlight, shorts, flip-flops and sunny G's, but that's how I am feeling.  I kind of failed at school this semester.  I hear that RM's are way good students especially right after they get home form their missions.  Well it's a lie.  I couldn't care less about school.  It just needs to end as soon as possible.  I feel like school is getting in the way of my education.  So I just finished the first of four finals.  I will finish Thursday and with out hesitation, My friend Carrie and I will jump in the car and drive to California for some much needed R&R!  Laying on the beach reading and not having a care in the world sounds like paradise!  We will be there for a week and then I have a lot of driving ahead of me.  I will go from California to Logan Utah in a matter of two days.  That how much my friend Mckell's wedding means to me.

I then find myself in Draper.  Yes, that is right I am moving back home.... living with my parents. I will be a 23 year old returned missionary and just about to graduate and living with my parents.  I definitely fit the stereotype.  At home I will be sitting on my butt doing nothing....  I wish! Instead I will be taking an intense Russian course for 2 weeks, 5 1/2 hours a day.  I think my head will explode. I will need week of recovery after this before I will be able to communicate in English again.  I then will start working.  I am so excited for my job this summer.  I will be working as a property manager for Huntington Apartments in  Bountiful. I will be there for 10 weeks while the manager is on maternity leave.  I am excited for the job expierence because I am going into business management.  And with all this time I will spend most of my time playing with my little nephew that is due the day before my birthday!  I can't wait for him to come!

Boo to novel length posts! Sorry!!

My personal principles statement

So I had an assignment in my class to create a personal principles statement and explain what it means and how I decided the things that were important to me.  I figured I would share it with all of you! Enjoy!

Personal Principles Statement

“My purpose throughout life is to rejoice in those things that are central in my life; my family, my belief in Christ, relationships with others, and the excitement that comes from the world around me, by being true and trusted friend that helps and encourages others to see the happiness and light this life has to offer.  I desire to have a family, which is the greatest joy life has to offer, and that they are always aware of the love I have for them.”

            My family, my belief in Christ, relationships with others, and the joy that comes from the world around me are what I consider to be central in my life.  I know that I am who I am because of these very things and if taken away from me I would not be the person that I am.  My family is my safe harbor.  They are rock of support for all that happens in my life, good or bad.  They remind me who I am when I forget and they love me even when I have disgraced them or the family name.  My belief and trust in my Savior is my constant.  He is the one thing I will have forever.  He is my brother and my best friend that has walked my path and I can always lean on Him, for all that I need.  Relationships are what bring a smile to my face and a light in my eyes.  I value the relationship that I have and the people I know, because they make life exciting and fun.  The world is a beautiful place that makes me want to open my eyes and experience all that there is to do on this earth.

            I know that I am of worth, that I have the ability to change lives.  Starting with my own and moving on to everyone in this world.  I want to be someone that others can call a true and trusted friend.  Someone they can rely on through the thick and thin and know that I am there for them.  I want to be that person that enters a room and the light and energy of life follows.  I want others to feel the enthusiasm and energy for life that I have be being in my presence.  I know that the optimism and joy for life, which I have within me, can lift others when they are down and put a smile on the face of a heavy soul. Life is to be enjoyed and I hope to help others truly enjoy what life has to offer.

  I want to leave a legacy of service, love for life and love of God. When I finish this life, I would hope that others can look back on my life and are confident that I gave of myself to benefit those around me.  I believe that if you love God then you love and serve those around you. There have been amazing men and women that have gone before us and have devoted their lives to serving and loving all those that have crossed their paths; I would hope that I could join them in the legacy they have left behind.

My greatest desire of all is to have a family of my own, a husband and children that desire the same things that I do. I hope that I have the opportunity to teach my children to love the wholesome things of this world, so that they can carry on the legacy of service and love that I have carried on from my parents.  I believe that family brings the greatest joy of all.  I know that my family is what makes me happy.  I love to spend time with them and to learn and grow from the things that they are doing in their lives.  I want my family now and my future family, to have a constant assurance that I love them and desire only the greatest things of this world for them.

Are you normal?

Okay so for all those that have been reading about my adventures in Ukraine, thanks for your support and love.  I am very appreciative. This blog ended as soon as I got home, in fact it pretty much ended earlier because I didn't really feel like doing e-mail when it got close to the end.  I am sorry for my lack of dedication in my e-mails.  I was thinking about how it would be sad just to let this blog go to waste and I have had some thoughts and figured a blog is a great way to express myself.  I apologize now,  I am not a writer.  I am sure you all have already realized this from my e-mails.  I am not an English major and can't remember anything I learned in the past 10 years of English classes so if my bad grammar and spelling bothers you then, Well you don't have to read this :) 

Are you normal yet?

I have come across this question with almost every person I have come in contact with since being home.  Sometimes I don't even know who these people are.  They just here that I am a returned missionary and have to ask.  My question to them and to you as well is, what is normal anyways?  When I decided to ask one of those people that asked me if I was "normal," I turned the question back to him.  What does that even mean?  He then chose to go through a list with me:

• Have you been alone?
• Have you watched TV?
• Have you watched a movie that you hadn't seen before the mission?
• Have you been out on a date?
• Have you held hands with someone?

These were just a few that I could remember.  Is that what is normal?  Is it really normal to waste my time in font of the TV? Or watching movies all the time?  Is holding hands with someone right away something that makes a person normal?  Who decides what is normal?  Maybe we are all confused and being focused on the gospel really is normal.  Haven't we heard from leaders that we are not mortal beings having a spiritual experience but we are spiritual beings having a mortal experience.  I am not going to go all "preachy" and call everyone (including myself) to repentance.  It has just been on my mind every time I get asked if I am normal or if I am still "weird."  It is something I want to personally figure out what is "normal" for me personally.  I want to figure out who I am and what my standards are.  I fear that question might be the cause of so many RMs going off the "deep side" once they have come home.  they try to conform to society of what is "normal" and they loose everything they were and what they learned the past 18 months to 2 years.

The adjustment is hard. I feel like I have eyes watching me everywhere I go and judging me about how I am going to handle my first hug, my first date or first kiss from being home.  It makes me feel pressured. I have been home 4 weeks now and yes there are a lot of things I am still getting comfortable with.  There are things that I am okay with and can handle, but there are still things that make me uneasy.  I might even wish that I never completely conform to the norm of society.  I think I like being "weird."  It makes life fun and makes me laugh at myself.  Okay Okay I am done.  I will get off my soapbox. :D

And for all those curious cats out there.... yes, according to those questions given above, I am normal.  Even if this blog post isn't very normal.  If anyone has any ideas and want to attempt to answer me of "what is normal?"  Please feel free to let me know.  Thanks!
Z Lovem
Lauren

letter#70 November13

Another letter to the president.

I hope you have had a great week. We sure have. We were way excited for our investigator to get baptized. I felt like we really did our homework with this one. I try really hard always to have the transition from the missionaries to the ward a very smooth transition. This time was pretty good. She had all the ward missionaries on lessons with her, as well and the Relief society President. She was also able to meet the ward mission leader. We then had the ward pre-plan her visiting and home teachers. So we had one home teacher (Alexander Polyakov the recent convert) baptize her and the other teacher give her the gift of the Holy Ghost. Her one visiting teacher was at the baptism and the other one was sitting by her at sacrament meeting when she got the gift of the Holy Ghost. We put so much work into getting her into the ward yet we are still worried about her. She still is a little shaky on her testimony. She has so much desire to know everything which is incredible. I just hope she really works at strengthening her testimony.

President, I feel like in some areas of the work we are really succeeding and others we are SO far away from fulfilling our purpose. I want to go out of my mission sprinting and just really give it EVERYTHING that I have. Which is what I feel I am doing, but yet we are really struggling to find new investigators. We try to talk to a lot of people. Even everyone that crosses our path but maybe it's my lack of faith that is holding us back but I feel like I try. Also I confess I judge people and see if the ward would accept them. We don't want to bring someone with a load of problems that will weight the ward down but we also don't want to deny anyone salvation. We are not the judges. That was me just rambling on. Sorry. Well anyways, I think I need to restrengthen my faith. I know that there are people out there ready to accept our message I just need to do it with more love and faith. Thank you for always being a great example of those two attributes for me. I really do feel your love for us and for this work and it makes all the world of difference. Your faith is admirable. I really want to have as much faith as you have. Thanks so much for all that you do for us and for the mission. We are grateful for your sacrifice.

Letter #69 November 7th

Lauren's Letter from this week was mostly business, but I really liked her letter to the president. So here it is:

Dear President,

How are you doing?> I am doing so good. I am loving the pretty weather. It is beautiful and fresh outside. We have had a few days inside this week so I am especially grateful for the opportunity to be out and about. We will see how long we will be out. Sister stiles has been sick and the poor thing had the greatest drive to get out and work but she still isn't feeling great. We hope that we can figure things out so she can be out an about at 100 % again. She is a trooper.

Last night I found myself awake for an hour and 40 minutes or so. I was not wanting to be awake I just couldn't get the work out of my head. I was wide awake with thoughts of our investigators. I was racking my brain to see how we could get them baptized. I was even going through the lessons with them and what I would say in order to help them progress to a date. It was the weirdest thing. I didn't want to be doing that I wanted to be sleeping I just couldn't stop myself from analyzing every part of the work and all of our investigators and less actives we are working with. I then realized how much I really love this work. I love it so much. I really want to help these people because I love them for who they are, my brothers and sisters.

This week my best friends got married and I didn't know it until the day before when I got her announcement. I was pretty bummed. Not going to lie before that point I was pretty excited to go home. Not because I was sick of missionary work I was just feeling myself preparing for the change that is going to take place. I would say I was almost trunky that it would effect the work because I would have random thoughts of things I wanted to do when I was home. Well when I got my friends announcement. I started to think about what I was doing. I was wasting time that is a very limited time on thinking about going to a place that I will be for the rest of my life. I can think about home when I am there. Because I will be thinking of Ukraine when I am home in Utah. I know that my time is ticking down. And I know that I want to give it my everything before I get on that plain. I was fueled with the love of the work and I am really pumped to keep going. I am excited to live in the moment and really focus on these people here that I love so much. I want to help them as much as I can and truly give my all to this work. I am so grateful for your example to me. I learn from you all the time. I love this mission and all that is happening. I can't wait to hear about all that happens after I leave it will be incredible. Thanks again!

Sister Schmidt

Letter #68 October 31

Hi the coolest people in the world!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Well this week was great we worked SOOOOOOOOOOO hard for the party Saturday was the longest day of my life! So 9 AM we were at the church helping with this wheelchair event we gave agway 30 wheelchairs and we were there till 4 and it was way tiring we in the middle of that event had a baptism and the a wedding all going on in one little ward building. Then at 3 the YW showed up to help decorate and then the party started at 5 and went till 9. It was crazy. I was SO tired by the end. SOOOOOOOOo many people came and it was a blast! I can't wait to show you pictures when i get home and talk all about it. I am sorry. Well yeah I am sorry this is lame I am trying to figure more of my stuff for school. Um yeah sorry that I am distracted. I love you all so much!!!! Have a good week!

Well love you all.

Sister Schmidt

Letter #66 October 17

This week has been good one. We went to a church for P-day it was pretty crazy we saw all the mummified priests it was pretty creepy watching all the people kiss these glass boxes with the "saints" inside of them. My heart went out I just wanted to yell at them all they just seemed stuck in this trance and I wanted to shake them and be like this is wrong don't you know! There is more1 The true church is on the earth today and you can find more joy and happiness then you ever though possible! but of course that would have been completely inappropriate SO I refrained!

As for missionary work my heart really went out to Lena and Nina please pray for them. We went from these lessons back to back they are both less active sisters. Lena is the one we showed up to and let us in and always introduces us to members of her family. Well, her husband is agianst the church. She really wants to come back and she misses the feeling of church and the people but her husband won't let her come back. She doesn't have a super strong testimony because she only got baptized about 2-3 years ago and went inactive a least a 1 ago because thats when she got married. Well it was so sad so we meet with her to help her iwth english and that is the way the husband will allow us to come over and that way we can share a spritualy though with her. We then immediately went to Nina's this one really broke my heart. Her mom and two brothers are active but her bhusband always makes her stay home when they all go to church. well she crie and asked us to come more often because when we coe more often then her husband lets her go to church. So we are praying for her. Please pray for them both especially for Nina it's really hard for her. I just want to be able to help them! We are also working on finding a new investigator everyday on the street and we weren't able to do it last week. Please pray for us to get new investigators.

Tonight we are meeting with a way cute girl we have fhe with tons of members and her her name is oksana and she is 23 she loves the church she has already come to church 5 times! We want to committ