So Today has been a great week. We had a day that we had to spend in the celo and I sent you my letter to president because it has the story but I didn't want to write it again. It was a cool experience to really just drop all of our pride and st I am not ashamed of the gospel (Romans 1:16) I find myself holding back because of my own pride. It's terrible when we are the ones holding ourselves back from all the blessings we could be receiving. I decided to read about humility and what it truly meant to be a humble person. I read in Preach my Gospel and I was brought to my knees. I lack humility. I will be so upfront there are just times when I think I am awesome. That is so bad. We are nothing, we are as low and nothing as the dust of the earth.I read Masiah 4:11 ( would recommend all to read) “I would that ye should remember and always retain a rememberance of the greatness of God and you own nothingness and his goodness and long suffering towards you unworthy creatures” Wow if that doesn't help you remember I don't know what does. How dar we have pride and think we are great. Shame on me. We are truly nothing without Him. And If we ever forget that, he will remind us very fast and it is not usually nice.
In order to truly be an instrument in the hands of the Lord I will have to give everything I am all my wants and desires. I have to leave it all behind. I will leave it all on the alter of sacrifice. I know that as I do this I will truly learn what it means to be a disciple of Christ. I will learn the higher meaning of humility. I know that as I humble myself and give my will and my all to the Lord we will b blessed we will receive our greatest desires, baptisms. I am so grateful for the opportunity to really see things in perspective. The worst thing is I am stuck in the pride cycle. I wish I could come to this point and always keep in rememberance my nothingness but It is an on going battle. I strive to be so much better and then I get prideful as the Lord blesses me and I forget that it is Him doing EVERYTHING. I truly can do nothing with out my Lord and Savior for that I owe Him everything. But even as I give him Everything I am still ever indebted to him.
Lauren's letter to the mission president:
Well it was a miraculous experience when I realized how much I need to be better and keep changing and growing. I a no where near the missionary I want to be. And I know I have to be the missionary I want to become in order to become the missionary I want to be. I am working hard at being consecrated missionary and giving up my will and being as humble as possible. This week in the celo was a great experience personally for Sister K and I. We left our will behind us we did everything we felt the spirit told us. We knocked on door after door and got rid of fears and pride and just did all we could. After lots of tracting I was walking ans I had just thought to myself, Well this isn't going anywhere. then Heavenly Father proved me wrong and gave us a miracle. A lady called to us and asked us where we were what were our name tags and books. We went to her apartment and had a lesson and she become a new investigator. It's crazy how the Lord just blesses us when we are obedient. I wish I wouldn't have doubted but I am grateful we did all that we could and most of all gained a testimony of loosing ourselves and our will in the work.
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